What is Grooming?

Grooming is a method used by offenders that involves building trust with a child, and the adults around them, in an effort to gain access to and control the child. (cybertip.ca)

It is a process used by offenders to prepare a child for sexual abuse. It is often very carefully planned, and it can take place over weeks, months or even years. Not only are children groomed, but so are their parents/caregivers, trust is built to give the offender access to the child. Offenders often exploit their position of trust and authority over a child to groom the child and the child’s family or caregivers. Grooming can happen wherever an offender can access a child – online, school, daycare, youth group, in sports, etc.

The purpose of grooming is:

  • To reduce the likelihood of the abuse being detected.
  • To manipulate the adults around the child.
  • To reduce the chances that the child will be believed if they disclose.
  • To manipulate the child into becoming cooperative, which decreases the likelihood of a disclosure and increase the chances of the child returning to the offender.

Many children and youth do not understand that they have been groomed, or that what has happened is abuse. Even if they tell or someone finds out about the abuse, they may attempt to remain in ongoing contact with the offender.

Grooming/Luring Behaviours:

It is important to be able to recognize grooming behaviours both in person and online to help and protect those who need it most. Many children and youth do not understand that they have been groomed, or that what has happened is abuse. Even if they tell or someone finds out about the abuse, they may attempt to remain in ongoing contact with the offender.

Concerning behaviour of adults to pay attention to:

  • Offender pretending to be one of the child’s peers online
  • Displaying preferences for children of a certain age or gender
  • The promise of a “better” life, gifts, money, drugs, alcohol
  • The promise of a “loving relationship”
  • The exchange of sexual pictures to make the victim more comfortable sending sexual content in return
  • Using parents against the child (your parents don’t understand, your parents are too strict)
  • Exposing children to adult sexual interactions or sexual content
  • Exposing children to adult pornography
  • Frequently finding reasons to spend time alone with a child or children
  • Normalizing or minimizing inappropriate interactions with children
  • Playing games that include touching genitalia
  • Encouraging children to behave sexually towards each other
  • Make others feel uncomfortable by ignoring boundaries
  • Taking pictures of children in underwear, bathing suits, etc.
  • Threats/coercion

Knowledge is power – and the key to prevention. Understanding what this abuse tactic is will help you better identify signs and prevent this from happening to you and the children in your life. Check back for our next post on the Stages + Signs of Grooming.

Reports of child abuse must be made to the following reporting sources:

Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-387-5437 (KIDS)

Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or Text CONNECT to 686868

Crime Stoppers: 1-800-222-8477

Online Exploitation: cybertip.ca

Or your local police/RCMP detachment

Information sourced from:

https://protectchildren.ca/pdfs/C3P_ChildSexualAbuse_ItIsYourBusiness_en.pdf

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